The Sense of Balance
It's complicated.
I have an inner ear problem that messes up my sense of balance. I feel vertigo all the time.
My physiotherapist tells me that my inner ear problem is messing up my vestibular system. Whatever you say Doc ?
It turns out that balance depends on many systems in the body besides the inner ear. We have a sense of the orientation of our bodies and limbs. We have sensations from our feet. We have lots of visual information.
That information needs to be internally consistent. My inner ear has to be saying the same thing as my eyes and feet or I feel vertigo.
I don't like vertigo much but it's a direct probe into how my mind works and so I find it sort of interesting alongside the dislike. I don't like stairs at all but I handle them well if there's a rail to brush my hand along. If there is no rail it suffices to just brush my fingers on a wall. Otherwise it it's more than a couple of steps I find another way. That is, my hands become another input to the vestibular system.
In my youth I lived near a big pile of sand. Like 30 or 40 feet high. It had a slope on one side that you could walk up easily. The other side was much steeper. I'd run and jump off the slope and fall 20 feet to a soft landing. I used my hands then to help keep my balance by holding my arms out.
I'm interested that my description of my feeling is evolving. First time I felt it I couldn't go down a stony path and I had no idea why. One description is the feeling you get when standing on a ledge on a cliff. Another is the feeling you get when walking on a mattress.
I went through a battery of hearing tests (very interesting) that confirmed the inner ear issue. They had a way of measuring my experience that was very simple. I'd sit in a quiet room with headphones on I'd hear a tone that beeped with less and less intensity and I had a button to push when I couldn't hear the sound. Do that for many tones on each ear and they had my hearing mapped.
The doctor said that there was no hope for improvement but my physiotherapist has different ideas. She's taking me through a series of moves that strengthen my sense of balance by stressing it. Simple stuff like standing with my eyes closed and not holding on with my feet together. And it seems to be working.
The feeling of vertigo is still there and strong but it's different too. It's not so alarming. It's something I'm learning to cope with. Now I'm almost back where I started. When I am walking and have to stop suddenly I feel very tippy but quickly just regain my balance and have no idea how I do it.
What do you think?
I present regular philosophy discussions in a virtual reality called Second Life.
I set a topic and people come as avatars and sit around a virtual table to discuss it.
Each week I write a short essay to set the topic.
I show a selection of them here.